Resist Not Your Routines!

Thursday morning, 9:47 and I have set my timer for 55 minutes to sit and do some writing and list making, planning my schedule for the next week or so.

One of my main obstacles is a lack of structure in my day.
I need routine.
I strive for routine.
And yet, I avoid it.

Oh, I do follow somewhat of a routine. I have a school aged daughter after all, so I get up everyday to get her off to school. It's what I do with time before she gets home from school that's the problem.

The days that I go to work, I am just so much more productive and I have more energy and efficiency. I know that this is due in part to the routine of getting up at a set time, showering, doing my yoga, preparing the lunches, EATING, then getting out the door and off to a job which is highly dependant upon routine.

(One of the things I often neglect to do on my days at home is EAT in the morning. When I am going out to work, I MUST eat or I am drained by 10 a.m).

I often resist that which I know I need with all sorts of excuses.
“I want to be free and spontaneous”.
“I will just do things in the order that they need to be done each day”
“I'm my own boss, I don't want a schedule”
“People will think I'm anal”.

Well, Carl Jung said “What we resist, persists”
I find this to be true, I have resisted setting myself a schedule and it just keeps coming back to haunt me. So after a year and a half of working part-time, I am finally making myself a schedule (solid,yet flexible) for writing , blog posting and playing guitar as well as for meal planning and housework.
I need to have a tidy space to work in, so why not build that strategically into my schedule.

Yay!! I'm so excited about this.
And now I have a new blog post too!
Excuse me, but I now have a date with my day-timer!!

Introducing My 2010 Trio: Gratitude, Nourishment, Acceptance

Finally, my first post of the year 2010. Coming to you via my BRAND NEW LAP TOP!!!! (After much frustration and messing around with settings and help from a tech friend to allow internet access)


Thanks to my darling Sweetheart, Fishguy, I got my Christmas wish.

Choosing has never been something that has come easily to me... Believe me, “Decide” was one of my top 10 words to choose from for this year. But, I chose Acceptance instead.

I accept that decision making is not my forte.

I won't beat myself up about it anymore.
I've also always been a fan of things that come in threes and three is my lucky number.

So, rather than picking one word for 2010, I arranged a trio instead.

Gratitude is my primary word for 2010.
This year for me, is about to be all about embracing Gratitude.
About being grateful.
Great-full.
I am grateful for all that I have and all that I am.
I am grateful for my wonderful, loving, supportive partner.
I am grateful for our awesome, kindhearted kid (sugar-plum, elf, pumpkin)
I am thankful that I am strong and healthy.
I am thankful that we have a warm and cozy home and friends both old and new, living near and far away.
I feel deep gratitude, for every day and person and lesson in it.
Because I have so much to be thankful for, I want to practice acknowledging it on a daily basis.
I intend to be more mindfully thankful each day and ensure a habit of counting my blessings and radiating an “Attitude of Gratitude”.
I also find that when I am feeling down on myself, unworthy and “not good enough”, it helps to remember just how much I really do have to be grateful for.

I also have an attitude of gratitude toward the abundance of nourishment (my second word) available for my use.
Nourishment~ to make grow, or keep alive and well with food.
My intention is to nourish my skin and body, my mind and heart and soul!
To feed my self and my family with love and healthy foods.
To keep reading and learning and writing.
To keep alive my heart songs by giving voice to them joyfully and often.
Rejoicing in the making of melodies and meat(less)loaves!!

Acceptance ~ less judgement, more appreciation.
Finding Santosha every day, contentment in the here and now, peace with what is.
This isn't about becoming complacent or accepting inappropriate behaviours or injustices.
It is about being less harsh on myself and loving and accepting all the parts of me including the procrastinator and the cynic and the grumpy old fart (Hey you kids, get off my lawn!!”).

I am participating in Jan's Meditation Challenge over at Awake Is Good. I found a nice way to incorporate my words into my meditation practice today. This is my mantra with each breath.
Inhale ~ Gratitude
Exhale ~ Loving Kindness
Inhale ~ Nourishment
Exhale ~ Loving Kindness
Inhale ~ Acceptance
Exhale ~ Loving Kindness
Repeat.

The New Year Approaches

Oh my… the time sure flies by in December, does it not?

For instance, I cannot believe that it was almost one week ago that I had the distinct honour of being a guest blogger over at BlissChick.
Colour me giddy-schoolgirl-excited!
Go here to check out the article I wrote on overcoming obstacles to bliss.

I cannot believe how swiftly this entire year has gone by. Looking at my day timer,it seems like just yesterday I opened it’s fresh new pages and began to fill up the virgin months with appointments, work schedules, choir practices and concert dates. Now it’s nearing the end pages and the time has come to shop for Day-Timer 2010! Incidentally, I still use a book, not a blackberry or other pda… had one once, but I LOVE my day timer books that require actual handwriting.

I have a bit of a fascination with new day-timers. First there is the ritual of going shopping for the new one. This is something that I usually do during my Christmas shopping trip to Chapters. Which in fact, I was scheduled to do today, but my daughter’s bus was cancelled and it’s the second snow day in a row… but whatever, I’ll go tomorrow.

I have no great loyalty when it comes to the brand of day-timer I prefer. Having said that, however, the past three years I have used and loved The Women’s Daybook put out by Sumach Press. I will likely go for it again, although I have also been considering Sandra Boynton’s Mom’s Family Desk Planner. I perused it when I was at Chapters a few weeks ago and what appealed to me was the blank pages with the heading “Notes for my Novel”. There are also pages with blank sheet music with a heading along the lines of “Music for my Opera “ or something like that. The book also has weekly grocery list pages built in that you can tear out.

The best part about my ‘New Day-Timer Ritual” is the time I spend planning the year to come. During that week between Christmas and New Year’s… that is my when I am in day-timer heaven. Usually late in the afternoon, curled up by the fire or early in the morning with a cup of tea and nowhere to go (and everyone else still sleeping), I'll open it up and do a little dreaming, a little planning, a little recording of loved ones birthdays and important dates. The New Year lies ahead all fresh and clean and empty, much like the book.

And I get to fill it up with whatever dreams my heart desires.

Been Busy Singing!!

Wow! It's been a while since I've done any blogging.... obviously.
However, the good news is that I have been very busy living my bliss, that is to say I have been singing!!

In September I began singing with a choir again. A great choir called the Westben Festival Chorus. I sang with them last fall,too. The past two weekends were spent in four separate performances singing in three different locations. It was a truly satisfying, soul nurturing, blissful experience.

Now that the performances are over with for this year,
I hope to return to making some more regular blog entries.
And preparing for the holidays.
And enjoying (NOT stressing over) the season!
Christmas cards and gingerbread.... here I come!

Completing a list of Seven Things!!

Today, Jamie asks, "What do you wish to complete"?
All anyone need do in order to know what I wish to complete is to read the past few WishCasting posts (which is easy to do as they seem to be the only ones I am making these days!!).

I swear that Jamie is asking these questions directly to me to urge me on into completing my music cd for children and that of course is my main wish.

However, as most of us do, I also have a list of unfinished projects to complete; scrapbooks, letters to friends, stories and songs that I am writing.

And today I get to combine two posts into one because quite a while back now, the sweet and witty Kavindra was oh so very kind as to point her readers in my direction… and I’ve neglected to provide them with any new content! (Aside from wish casting).

I do move slowly on most fronts… in a thoughtful, purposeful manner… yeah, that’s it!

Anywho, I love lists (pick a post, any post, you’ve likely about a 50% chance of finding a list!!) and so, I present the MeMe which means I will share 7 tidbits about myself:

1. I met my Fishguy when I was all of eighteen years old. It was more or less love at first sight for both of us (well, for him it was more like lust at first sight, he was a 19 year old boy, after all) but we didn’t actually end up really getting together until 10 years later. The rest is history.


2. The fishguy and I created an absolutely darling little elf of a girl who I refer to as SugarPlum (Fishguy calls her Monkereeno). She turned 8 this summer and she is an absolute delight to be around… unless she is grumpy (then Fishguy calls her “Gus” which makes her even more grumpy!)


3. I went bungee jumping once! Was dipped head first into the Ottawa River. My adrenaline was pumping for days afterwards!


4. I sang at an open mic night a few times with a friend of mine. We got together once or twice a week and practiced a few songs with our guitars. The first night was fun, but we weren’t really that good. We practiced more and did it again a month later. At the end of our set I sang a cappella, a song that I wrote. The whole place became so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop while I was singing (it was a noisy pub). I had an adrenaline rush (highly comparable to the bungee jumping high) for days afterwards!


5. I love the smell of the woods. Yep. Pine and cedar, my favourite smells. Better than coffee. And if Fishguy has been out walking in the woods or even chopping wood and then gives me a hug… best aphrodisiac ever!


6. I love hanging clothes out on the line first thing in the morning … gives me a really peaceful, calm, this is where I belong, happy feeling… plus the birds are just about going crazy with song.


7. I finally painted my studio!!! Yes it is done! Well, more or less, there are still a few touches I’d like to add here and there (new lamp shade, new throw pillow cases etc.) And I even printed a digitalized version of my very own painting for one of the walls! It is the pic in this post.
   

Now, the passing along of recognition. As Kavindra has done I will simply guide my readers to seven of the great blogs that I enjoy as often as I can!!

• Moon Mama


• Stay-at-Home-Mayhem


• Power Blog


• BarefootOCMama


• BluJAYstudio


• Creative Lunacy


• Om~Mama~Shanti

Enjoy!!

Sharing My Song of Kindness

It is Wednesday and Jamie once again invites us to wish and to share. WishCasting's question this week incidentally is, "What do you wish to Share?"

I’d like to share a little story with you about kindness.
I love to sing (if you’ve read any of my posts, you kinda know that already). I joined a wonderful choir last fall and it was wonderful. We did an awesome Christmas performance and I felt good about my singing ability.

This past Monday was the second choir practice of this season. Now, I have not studied music very much and am still learning how to read music. In the beginning when we are learning the new music, it is pretty tricky for me and I have to really listen hard to pick up what I have not yet learned how to read. I struggle. It is hard.

We have a few new choir members. One of them sang a solo that just about blew me away (she was handed the piece of music at the beginning of practice). Her well-trained voice gave me chills.
I began to have that old familiar feeling of doubt overwhelm me.

You know, that snotty little diva saying, “Hmmmph, you’re never going to be able to sing like that!!!! What are you even doing here??”
But, I shooed her away and maintained my strength and tried even harder.

I even spoke to another choir member (who is a piano teacher) about getting together for a tutoring session. She helped me last year and happily agreed to assist me again.

On my drive home after practice, that diva tried out some new lines on me “You think you can sing and write songs? You can’t even read music!”
And I fought back tears. But, I told her to shut the hell up.
As I was wiping the tears away, I saw her out of the corner of my eye.
No, not the Diva (she’s not Real!!) but a lovely young deer at the side of the road.
Just standing there, looking at me. I slowed down, afraid she might jump out into my path but she just stood there and leapt away after I passed her by.

A couple of years ago, I was seeing a lot of deer. I love seeing deer. I am completely honoured and awestruck. On my 40th birthday, I saw 10 deer!!! It was the best present ever!

Deer are a symbol of gentleness, kindness and unconditional love and acceptance. Deer are sattvic. When ever I see deer I am reminded to be kind and gentle with myself, to stop being too hard or judgmental. This is what deer are meant to remind us.

So, aside from that little story, I also want to lovingly and with gentleness share my voice, my very own beautiful voice, that is virtually untrained and can’t read music voice; my kind and unique and so full of emotion voice; my voice that loves to sing just for the love of singing and because it feels sooo right and good!

Even more motivation to get that cd DONE!

Life in the Slow Lane!

No thoughtful creative writing or deep profound meaning here today folks. Just a plain and simple wish for the luxury of high speed internet!! I love blogging and surfing around reading everyones wonderfully inspiring blogs, but man it can be such a challenge without highspeed internet.

We live in an area where it is still unavailable (hard to believe, but there are still such zones). And we simply can't afford the cost of sattelite... even those usb modems are too costly for us....

Downloading or uploading pictures takes forever and all those great YouTube vids people are always posting, well forget about it. Sometimes I can watch them while I'm on my lunch hour at work, where I have occassionally caught a glimspe of an Adorable Rabbit over at Ordinary Enchantment.

And, I can only dream of PodCasts

What I need is highspeed internet or a lap top to drop into my lap. If I had a lap top, I could at least access highspeed although I would be giving up the comfort of my home to do so and therefore would really much rather have affordable highspeed access here in my home!!

That is all.