Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Sharing My Song of Kindness

It is Wednesday and Jamie once again invites us to wish and to share. WishCasting's question this week incidentally is, "What do you wish to Share?"

I’d like to share a little story with you about kindness.
I love to sing (if you’ve read any of my posts, you kinda know that already). I joined a wonderful choir last fall and it was wonderful. We did an awesome Christmas performance and I felt good about my singing ability.

This past Monday was the second choir practice of this season. Now, I have not studied music very much and am still learning how to read music. In the beginning when we are learning the new music, it is pretty tricky for me and I have to really listen hard to pick up what I have not yet learned how to read. I struggle. It is hard.

We have a few new choir members. One of them sang a solo that just about blew me away (she was handed the piece of music at the beginning of practice). Her well-trained voice gave me chills.

I began to have that old familiar feeling of doubt overwhelm me.

You know, that snotty little diva saying, “Hmmmph, you’re never going to be able to sing like that!!!! What are you even doing here??”
But, I shooed her away and maintained my strength and tried even harder.

I even spoke to another choir member (who is a piano teacher) about getting together for a tutoring session. She helped me last year and happily agreed to assist me again.

On my drive home after practice, that diva tried out some new lines on me “You think you can sing and write songs? You can’t even read music!”
And I fought back tears. But, I told her to shut the hell up.
As I was wiping the tears away, I saw her out of the corner of my eye.
No, not the Diva (she’s not Real!!) but a lovely young deer at the side of the road.
Just standing there, looking at me. I slowed down, afraid she might jump out into my path but she just stood there and leapt away after I passed her by.

A couple of years ago, I was seeing a lot of deer. I love seeing deer. I am completely honoured and awestruck. On my 40th birthday, I saw 10 deer!!! It was the best present ever!

Deer are a symbol of gentleness, kindness and unconditional love and acceptance. Deer are sattvic. When ever I see deer I am reminded to be kind and gentle with myself, to stop being too hard or judgmental. This is what deer are meant to remind us.

So, aside from that little story, I also want to lovingly and with gentleness share my voice, my very own beautiful voice, that is virtually untrained and can’t read music voice; my kind and unique and so full of emotion voice; my voice that loves to sing just for the love of singing and because it feels sooo right and good!

Even more motivation to get that cd DONE!


Wild Roaming One (WRO) said...

*sigh* I was just thinking the same thing today Karmacoy...that I LOVE to sing, am not trained and not great, but damn it, I miss singing (did choir and variety shows back in high school), and I miss it's uplifting place in my life. So you just go and sing, no matter what! LOVE your voice, express to the diva how deeply you need this to be part of your whole (she may need a gentler hand than being told to shut up ~ i've worked with my gremlins lots this year, apparently they need gentlness too). Share your soul-songs!

As you wish for yourself Karmacoy, so I wish for you also!


Holly said...

Deer One, this is beautiful and I hope you will remember when you become fearful that you are not good enough.

As Karmacoy wishes for herself, so I lovingly and with intention wish for her also.

Sing out so we all can hear you...just sing.

Liz Fulcher, The Fragrant Muse said...

As Karmacoy wishes for herself, so I wish for her too.

Julie said...

This is beautiful, I've had the same thoughts. Thanks for sharing. May all your wishes come true.

Giulietta the Muse said...

Hi Karmacoy,

Singing is the most liberating thing I've ever done! Am a karaoke queen, who had no middle voice when I first started back in the 90's - just high and low - but after years of practice, lessons and trial and error, I managed to find my true voice. Just keep singing, going to karaoke nights, finding songs you love.

And it can take MONTHS for the best trained singers to work a song into his or her voice. Anything you may have experienced is normal. I spent probably 4 months getting the high part of Boogie Oogie Oogie to not crack all over the place when I sang it.

It's a true labor of love. I wish for you be kind to your singing self and to know that you already sound like an angel!


Diva Kreszl said...

Oh sweetheart...sing!!! There's avery famous quote that says 'The woods would be silent if the only birds that sang were the ones who sang best.' Your voice is your gift, don't let that inner doubt stop you from sharing. (from a real Diva) As you wish for yourself so I lovingly wish for you also!

Genie Sea said...

I hear a beautiful song. :)

As Karmacoy wishes for herself, so I wish for her also! :)

Karen D said...

As Karmacoy wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. What a beautiful reminder you received in the deer sighting to be gentle with yourself.

Lisa said...

As you wish for yourself, I wish for you too. Sing shining star!

Lexington said...

As Karmacoy wishes for herself, So I wish for her also.

Sheila said...

As Karmacoy wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

Love the interpretation of the meaning of seeing the deer. Deer run through the property surrounding my home ALL the time. :)

Anonymous said...

great post!

Serena Lewis said...

What a beautiful post! It sounds to me like you were born to sing so please don't let anything stop you. You CAN do it!