Sunday, July 19, 2009

Before and After

This is my paradise. I call it, The Healing River.

Me, feeling like a pathetic loser
before swimming in the Healing River.

Me, feeling all blissed out
after swimming in the Healing River.

Last Friday, I was having One Of Those Days. You know, kinda blue. It was just one of those days when I was feeling blah, unfocused, ugly, stupid, useless, scattered, in pain (lower back), in pain (emotional negativity), unworthy, uneducated, dark and gloomy, sad, pathetic and just generally all around "less" than good enough.

It was cool and overcast outside. I moped around the house most of the day. Spent too much time on the computer (aggravating my lower back pain). Then skipped my guitar playing (due to lower back pain). Then did a little more yoga (to alleviate lower back pain). Which gave me enough of a sense of peace that I realised I needed to do something to pull myself out of my funk.

Finally three o'clock rolls around and Sugar Plum and I leave the house to meet Fishguy at the River. I packed my guitar and journals and paints, hoping to put them to use once we were there.

I start to feel better just driving there. We arrive and step out of the car. Inhaling deeply, I feel the contentment mingled with pine and cedar enter my being.
I dive into the River and I am home!

The River washes me clean, clearing away all that darkness and doubt. The smell of the River takes me back... to when I was a child.
Back to when I swam all day and played on the beach and buried myself in the sand and then baked in the sun on a warm towel.
Back to when I sang songs and wrote poems without a thought to whether they were "any good" or not.
Back to a time before I was twelve and gradually came to hide myself away.
After that delightful swim, I felt back at centre and played my guitar for about an hour, did a little journaling and a little painting. I went home feeling rejuvenated and renewed and brought along with me, some new ideas for some stories and songs involving Dragonflies on the River.
The rest of my week since that day has been up and down. But that River is only about 20 minutes away....
I have a song or two about that place. It holds a special place in my heart for many reasons.
Does anyone else have a special place that they can go to be "truly home" ?


Anna said...

oh I know exactly what you mean. Lately I have felt more down than up and struggling to get rejuvenated. I do enjoy sitting by water or walking trails and haven't had the get up and go to do it and to release...I will do that today!


karmacoy said...

Water definately has a calming efect on me too!! Hope you got to enjoy some of that today!! Thanks for stopping by!