Arrgghh!

Okay, I didn't think that this blogging thing was going to be easy or anything.... but I'm already stuck in a rut. I have a folder full of drafts in the works and every time I open it up, I end up just sitting here... staring at them. Feeling overwhelmed, overthinking things, overwriting, rewriting, over analysing, feeling paralysed.

Which one should I post today?
Which one should I at least finish today?

Then, I read the blogs I'm following and feel discouraged.
"I can't write!"
Then, I surf new blogs and keep finding more and more great people to read and feel even less inclined to write.

I know that I just need to bite the bullet, forget about all my folders full of drafts and insecurities and just post something...ANYTHING, to get myself rolling again.

What I have decided to post (besides this rant) is a journal entry that I wrote back in January.

January 21, 2009

I’ve been sitting at home all day with a sick child laying here beside me on the sofa. She hasn’t had a very good day and I feel for her pain. Having a fever of 102 all day isn’t nice. Thankfully she spent a good portion of the time sleeping.

And I did not give her any Tylenol. Some may call me a bad mom, but I believe that fever is the body’s way of fighting an infection and therefore a necessary component in healing and recovery. I also believe our society is far too quick to “band-aid” the symptoms to avoid pain and discomfort at all costs. This does not build strong and capable human beings, in my humble opinion.

I, on the other had have had a very nice day feeling very comforted and grounded in my role as “Comforting, Fluid-Pushing, Chicken-Soup-Making Mama”. The very few domestic tasks I accomplished today covered the basics. Two loads of laundry washed and hung on the indoor drying racks (I don’t use a dryer); dishes from last night, breakfast and lunch washed and put away (I don’t have a dishwasher); and dinner started.

Mostly I spent the day online surfing blogs, reading a few different topics of interest to me including book reviews, yoga, creative inspiration. Spending time trying to decide what it is I want my blog to be about, exactly. Still not quite there, but I have a much better idea.

And I feel good. Better. Renewed, relaxed, remarkably unstressed and… well… very present.

Okay. There we go now. Back on track.
I'll be back again tomorrow!