Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Arrgghh!

Okay, I didn't think that this blogging thing was going to be easy or anything.... but I'm already stuck in a rut. I have a folder full of drafts in the works and every time I open it up, I end up just sitting here... staring at them. Feeling overwhelmed, overthinking things, overwriting, rewriting, over analysing, feeling paralysed.

Which one should I post today?
Which one should I at least finish today?

Then, I read the blogs I'm following and feel discouraged.
"I can't write!"
Then, I surf new blogs and keep finding more and more great people to read and feel even less inclined to write.

I know that I just need to bite the bullet, forget about all my folders full of drafts and insecurities and just post something...ANYTHING, to get myself rolling again.

What I have decided to post (besides this rant) is a journal entry that I wrote back in January.

January 21, 2009

I’ve been sitting at home all day with a sick child laying here beside me on the sofa. She hasn’t had a very good day and I feel for her pain. Having a fever of 102 all day isn’t nice. Thankfully she spent a good portion of the time sleeping.


And I did not give her any Tylenol. Some may call me a bad mom, but I believe that fever is the body’s way of fighting an infection and therefore a necessary component in healing and recovery. I also believe our society is far too quick to “band-aid” the symptoms to avoid pain and discomfort at all costs. This does not build strong and capable human beings, in my humble opinion.

I, on the other had have had a very nice day feeling very comforted and grounded in my role as “Comforting, Fluid-Pushing, Chicken-Soup-Making Mama”. The very few domestic tasks I accomplished today covered the basics. Two loads of laundry washed and hung on the indoor drying racks (I don’t use a dryer); dishes from last night, breakfast and lunch washed and put away (I don’t have a dishwasher); and dinner started.


Mostly I spent the day online surfing blogs, reading a few different topics of interest to me including book reviews, yoga, creative inspiration. Spending time trying to decide what it is I want my blog to be about, exactly. Still not quite there, but I have a much better idea.

And I feel good. Better. Renewed, relaxed, remarkably unstressed and… well… very present.

Okay. There we go now. Back on track.
I'll be back again tomorrow!

3 comments:

Christine Claire Reed said...

Oh, I was wondering where you were! :)

Don't take it so very seriously. Just write. You have SO MUCH to say. Like this fever thing -- this is good stuff and eventually it will create great conversation. It's even a tad on the "controversial" side, which creates even better conversations! :)

Just tell us about your life. Don't make me double dog dare you!

karmacoy said...

Yes, I know. You're right! All I needed to do was get over myself and out of my way.... Now I'm all inspired again.

And I DO have so much to say, I've been writing all afternoon!!

Lovely pics of you and Miss Lily over on Marcy's page :-)

Thanks for all your encouragement!

warm chords said...

I would suggest you not worry too much about how things will sound to others, if you wrote them, then the words obviously meant something to you. So what if the words aren't quite right. Just say what you are feeling, it feels good!
When I feel like I am in a rut I usually just blog about the first thing that pops into my mind, but usually I have much more to say than what I blog about... I am a bit of a talker/blogger :)
Just know that no one here is going to judge you, if they do, then they are not worth your time.
And if all else fails, put the lyrics to one of your favorite songs!